anxiety attack happening *better now*

[ErinLovesRats]

Someone who has talked to me for years on AIM just insulted me then got off. I'm pretty sure he thinks I'm an idiot. Now I'll either be anxious until the next time we talk or until a great amount of time passes. However, he went to bed I think, and I'll be traveling all day tomorrow. The next 24 hours will be long. First, I have to somehow get to sleep. My only friend got offline before I could talk to her. Jonathan will go to bed very shortly too. Then, I have to ride 6 hours in a car tomorrow while anxious. Lately, I've managed my anxiety disorder well. Right now I feel on the verge of freaking out, though. Too bad my therapist isn't available to call. She's not like my first therapist anyway. I don't feel as comfortable with her on the phone. And telling myself to not care about what others think isn't helping. Even better, I'm going to make myself more anxious by submitting this post since I bet I'm freaking you out so I won't get many responses. It sounds self-destructive, but I'm feeling better typing it so that's the point I guess.

[pamjoyeng]

Hi there, How is it going so far? Anxiety sucks! Night time seems to intensify it. Do you have a project or a book you can bur yourself in? Sometimes tat can be a big help.
Right now I am having a bit of anxiety myself as my 26 yr old son is leaving on the 7th for a year to Korea. It is a post(AirForce) where family doesn't accompany him so his wife and daughter will be staying until he returns next Feb. It seemed this day was so far away and now it is almost here. I know it's a pretty safe place to be these days...............just so dang far away.

[Ruth Ann Landry]

Erin, this may sound cold and hard, but this is not a friend...you need to realize that friends don't hurt their friends needlessly and then walk away. If this is just an AIM friendship, there is an easy solve. Block this person from your list, block this person from your life, block this person from your thoughts.....surround yourself with real friends that act like friends....We all meet up with these kinds of people in our lives from time to time and we have to make the decision as to whether they are good for us or toxic to us...this sounds like a toxic relationship to me...if this person knows you well, then they know that you don't handle stress and anxiety well....It's time to go block your AIM now!!...and put him out of your mind.

[HappyHappyJoyJoy]

This probably isn't the most PC answer but do you have any xanax you can take to dull the anxiety a little bit? That way you can get some sleep tonight. Because the anxiety will be worse after a bad night's sleep, also. Even a sleep aid might help you.

I suffer from anxiety and it's awful. I hope you feel better soon!

[ErinLovesRats]

I have a hard time blocking people. I only have one friend in real life. I've done the crops and classes at the scrap store, but I just can't make friends. Maybe it's because they have their friends, and most are older than me. I live in a big area (St. Louis area), but I'm failing at the making friends part. I'm lucky we moved to an area where I already had a friend. Unfortunately, we rarely see each other because she works a lot. I'm trying my best. I'm scared to go to classes and crops, but I go. I have fun too! But how in the world do people make friends? Luckily, I have Jonathan. I'll think about blocking that person, though.

Anyway, I do have magazines to read to keep me busy. I lost my darn relaxation CD. It was a great one too. I have the stuff on my iPod, but of course, that's not here. Next time I'll bring it!

edit: I had Ativan, but I ran out and never got more because I wasn't needing it.

[HappyHappyJoyJoy]

Benadryl? That puts me right to sleep.

[ErinLovesRats]

I doubt anything in the house will put me to sleep. I'll fall asleep eventually, though. I rarely stay up all night. If I lay in bed long enough, I fall asleep. It might take a couple hours, but I will. Two businesses uptown near my parents' house are on fire, though, so my parents are up there. I'll be downstairs at least until they get back.

[paddlegal]

Erin I hope by now you are asleep sweetie. I totally agree with Ruth Ann. This is not a friend and you needn't feel uncomfortable or bad about blocking him. You owe him no explanation either. This kind of person will just try to keep it going if you continue to communicate with him regardless what you say to him.

Take a big breath and see that we all care here and are your friends. Time to think about fun things like what you are doing with all the goodies you got on your last craft shopping spree.

Which reminds me now that we are talking...you asked me a few days ago about what I did with the Mona stamp. Well I started digging because I know for certain I have two ATCs that I was playing with, with Mona on them. Can't find them of course. I'm sure they are buried under this sorry mess I call my "works in progress". I did however remember my little note book that I embellished with her and another Tim stamp. This is the note book that I keep track of all Tim inventory like Distress Ink pads and reinkers, Adirondack Paint Dabbers and Alcohol Inks so I don't end up buying the same ones, because, of course I have!

[rinda]

No good advice for you, but sending some hugs and calming thoughts!
Rinda

[ErinLovesRats]

Nice book Farley. That's a great idea so thanks for posting. I'm still awake. I think I'll get a late night snack, check a few things online, then go to bed. All of your postings have made me feel better. I really appreciate it. I'm still anxious, but I'm starting to get tired.

[paddlegal]

Lots of hugs Erin and sleep well.

[ErinLovesRats]

Thanks everyone. I feel better and am going to bed now. I'm glad I posted Night all!

[Luly]

Anxiety is a horrible thing and recently it has gotten worse. Just know you are not alone and if you need us, we are all here.

[Cathy]

Hope you're having a better day today Erin! Your PAO friends are always here for you!
Cathy:)

[Laurie]

Erin,
My mom always told me that I have to be a friend to have a friend. I also think there is a Bible Scripture that says that too. Hang in there. I'll be praying for you and for your anxitey.