No Facebook

Something else on your mind? Keep it clean, keep it nice
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Laurie
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Joined: Mon Nov 24, 2008 8:26 am
Location: Oriental, NC

No Facebook

Post by Laurie »

When Steve was diagnosed with Frontal Temporal Dementia it rocked our (or my) world. But, we are adjusting to a new life and I think we are doing well. We are in the early stages, but again, we are finding a new norm. I'm so excited that his primary care physician has talked him into seeing a different Neurologist. But since he has not worked since August, I found that he was hooked on Facebook and I believe it was causing him more depression. He was talking less and glued to his phone on Facebook. He didn't want anyone to know about his diagnoses. He said that being on Facebook he could keep up with family and friends. But I think he was seeing everybody on there in their happy state and he was feeling less happy. I talked him in to deactivating our accounts and I replaced it with more of his memory games that the physician had recommended. Well for him it lasted about 1 week and he couldn't take it anymore and loaded it back on. I have slowly started deleting some of his (so called) friends, only to leave close friends and family. For me... I found it was a time robber. I didn't realize how addicted I was. I will say, I don't think he is on it as much as before, and he is playing more of his memory games.

I just can't wait to set up my scrapbooking supplies and start back my hobby, my love. And reconnecting with friends that I have truly missed....my PAO family.

Laurie
Laurie Bennett #118 on POA
North Carolina
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troublesmom
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Re: No Facebook

Post by troublesmom »

:happy94: :happy94: :happy94:
Lots of hugs and prayers Laurie!

We look forward to you being back with us.
Cheryl
Myrtle Beach
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nchoney
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Re: No Facebook

Post by nchoney »

Sounds like you're making moves in the right direction!! Many of the internet things (social media, interactive games, etc.) can be time suciks and don't do much for our emotional well-being. Hope he focuses on improving!!

and... glad you're soon going to be able to find some therapy of your own in your crafting!!
Debi Daugherty
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pbp908
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Re: No Facebook

Post by pbp908 »

bestcrosswords.com is a great place for keeping language skills active. I try to do several of them a day. Also, if he needs another memory game, there is one on FB called June's Journey. It's a hidden object game (they're not so hidden) and you have to remember where they are as the story progresses. I find that both help keep me sharp.

:happy94:
Pam P.
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jfugina
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Joined: Tue Nov 11, 2008 11:30 pm
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Re: No Facebook

Post by jfugina »

:happy94: My dad has become facebook addicted since being retired, but based on his friends list, I think he probably spends more time reading all of the random articles that pop up on his feed. And it has always seemed to me that most people who post on FB are at an extreme - they either ONLY post the super-great stuff, or they only post the negative. My dad seems to have a lot of the "here's the latest sucky thing that happened" types, and his life is pretty spectacular by comparison. :lol:

That said, there are numerous studies linking social media with an increase in depression. Many studies focus on teens, but I suspect it affects folks of all ages. I've got people I follow who only ever post the greatest of the greatest stuff going on in their life (and I tend to gravitate towards posting the good stuff myself). But I often get pangs of jealousy about why their lives are so incredibly great while mine isn't. And, then I have to smack my head because my life is pretty great! So imagine those who can't talk themselves back to sense!

My cousin, for example, just posted 4 posts in a row where she beamed with pride as her oldest joined the high school dive team, on top of being a competitive gymnast and a straight-A student. Next, her middle son just received some super academic achievement award for the nth time. Then child #3 did something super pride worthy, and lastly her newborn is the most beautiful child in existence. And those posts make me super jealous because I can't get even one of my two kids to do their homework and I'm stressed about my freshman failing two classes and getting kicked out of marching band and losing her entire social circle and being mortified. But then I have to get over myself, because I also know that this same cousin is a recovering drug addict who had those first three children taken away from her several years ago. She is not someone I need to be jealous of.

Sadly, for me, ignorance is bliss. I'd really rather not know about how super amazing everyone's kids are, because it makes me so much more disappointed in my own. And I'm not proud of that thought process. So add self-loathing to my disappointment, great. I suspect there are tons of adults out there who experience that same thing every single time they scroll down the timeline. I know I'd be a lot better off with a lot less facebook, but unfortunately, that is the primary means of communication for many of the school-related groups I'm involved in. So I can't just deactivate my account.

So anyway, I do think it's good to minimize time online, and it's great that you're trying to find other ways to occupy his mind. I wish you the best of luck, and think you're absolutely doing the right thing!
Julie Fugina
#26 in the order of the PAO
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nancine
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Re: No Facebook

Post by nancine »

jfugina wrote: That said, there are numerous studies linking social media with an increase in depression. Many studies focus on teens, but I suspect it affects folks of all ages. I've got people I follow who only ever post the greatest of the greatest stuff going on in their life (and I tend to gravitate towards posting the good stuff myself). But I often get pangs of jealousy about why their lives are so incredibly great while mine isn't. And, then I have to smack my head because my life is pretty great! So imagine those who can't talk themselves back to sense!

My cousin, for example, just posted 4 posts in a row where she beamed with pride as her oldest joined the high school dive team, on top of being a competitive gymnast and a straight-A student. Next, her middle son just received some super academic achievement award for the nth time. Then child #3 did something super pride worthy, and lastly her newborn is the most beautiful child in existence. And those posts make me super jealous because I can't get even one of my two kids to do their homework and I'm stressed about my freshman failing two classes and getting kicked out of marching band and losing her entire social circle and being mortified. But then I have to get over myself, because I also know that this same cousin is a recovering drug addict who had those first three children taken away from her several years ago. She is not someone I need to be jealous of.

So anyway, I do think it's good to minimize time online, and it's great that you're trying to find other ways to occupy his mind. I wish you the best of luck, and think you're absolutely doing the right thing!

I am trying to do less FB and Instagram, because of many of the things you've said. It's almost like getting that glowing review letter in the Christmas letters but 24/7. Obviously many people want to show the good - but it leads you down the path of thinking everyone's life is more perfect than yours. I have unfollowed a lot of people - just because most of what they post is not interesting to me or gets me riled up, :lol: Don't need that!

I originally joined to keep up with nieces, nephews and other family. I don't post too much anymore. I have a few "groups" that are on FB and seem to post most of the information there so you do kind of have to go look! I probably post more photos on Instagram than FB.
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Laurie
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Joined: Mon Nov 24, 2008 8:26 am
Location: Oriental, NC

Re: No Facebook

Post by Laurie »

nancine wrote:
jfugina wrote: That said, there are numerous studies linking social media with an increase in depression. Many studies focus on teens, but I suspect it affects folks of all ages. I've got people I follow who only ever post the greatest of the greatest stuff going on in their life (and I tend to gravitate towards posting the good stuff myself). But I often get pangs of jealousy about why their lives are so incredibly great while mine isn't. And, then I have to smack my head because my life is pretty great! So imagine those who can't talk themselves back to sense!

My cousin, for example, just posted 4 posts in a row where she beamed with pride as her oldest joined the high school dive team, on top of being a competitive gymnast and a straight-A student. Next, her middle son just received some super academic achievement award for the nth time. Then child #3 did something super pride worthy, and lastly her newborn is the most beautiful child in existence. And those posts make me super jealous because I can't get even one of my two kids to do their homework and I'm stressed about my freshman failing two classes and getting kicked out of marching band and losing her entire social circle and being mortified. But then I have to get over myself, because I also know that this same cousin is a recovering drug addict who had those first three children taken away from her several years ago. She is not someone I need to be jealous of.

So anyway, I do think it's good to minimize time online, and it's great that you're trying to find other ways to occupy his mind. I wish you the best of luck, and think you're absolutely doing the right thing!

I am trying to do less FB and Instagram, because of many of the things you've said. It's almost like getting that glowing review letter in the Christmas letters but 24/7. Obviously many people want to show the good - but it leads you down the path of thinking everyone's life is more perfect than yours. I have unfollowed a lot of people - just because most of what they post is not interesting to me or gets me riled up, :lol: Don't need that!

I originally joined to keep up with nieces, nephews and other family. I don't post too much anymore. I have a few "groups" that are on FB and seem to post most of the information there so you do kind of have to go look! I probably post more photos on Instagram than FB.
Agreed, I joined FB to follow my kids and grandkids who were scattered. Chris and Candice were in Alaska and Steven and Jenn in the mountains. But Chris and Candice stop posting pictures of their kids. Jenni post all the time and I do miss following her, but she has started just texting me the pictures.
Laurie Bennett #118 on POA
North Carolina
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paddlegal
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Joined: Wed Nov 12, 2008 3:41 am

Re: No Facebook

Post by paddlegal »

Laurie you are making great decisions and backing off of FB is always a good thing. I’m still on it but my primary postings usually have to do with birding and my photography. I belong to several closed FB groups that either have to do with paper crafting or again bird groups. I also keep up with my nieces and nephews via FB.

I so admire your strength and determination to help your husband cope with his condition. Keeping up your strength, physical and emotional wellbeing is just as important. I hope you get your crafting situation set up soon. It’s great therapy. Sending hugs... :happy94:


An FB side note:
A few years ago I learned my lesson about posting my current whereabouts while birding alone. A “friend” who Bob and I both know (along with his wife) started “coincidentally” and continuously showing up where I was. It became a stalking situation in my eyes and I made many changes after that. First was to kick him and his wife and several common friends off my friend list. I no longer post current whereabouts (unless perhaps with Bob) and though I post my bird photos with general locations, I have not had a repeat of his showing up. He’s one of the reasons I carry a big nasty taser, LOL.
FARLEY in Sacramento
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